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Thursday, June 9, 2011

The 'Hoarse' Whisperer


I have no voice.

Noooo...
 I'm not talking figuratively about
nobody listening to what I have to say.

(Although, at my house that tends to be true.)

I mean I literally lost my voice.

I cannot talk.
I cannot sing (heavy sigh).
I cannot answer the phone.
I cannot yell at talk to my children.

I have laryngitis.

lar-yn-gi-tis [lar-uhn-jahy-tis]
noun/ inflamation of the larynx,
often with accompanying sore throat,
hoarseness or loss of voice,
and dry cough.

Yep.

That's me.

Inflamed, sore, hoarse, and coughing.

Oh, and did I mention...

I can't talk either.

I'm on day 6 of this now
and it really stinks!

In fact it bites the Big One!

But at least I have my fingers
so I can still have a 'voice' in the blogsphere!

I can't talk to my actual family,
but I can talk to my blogging family.
So thank you all for being out there to 'listen'!




Anyhoo...

I've been doing a lot of whispering.

Since I can't talk and all.

(Did I mention that already?)

Unfortunately
I've heard that whispering is 
just as straining on the vocal chords
as actually talking.

So I've been trying to not talk

Or whisper.

Nothing.

Do you know how hard that is?
Especially with kids?

Pretty much darn near impossible!!
Especially with MY kids!

Let's see.
I have a 10-yr-old boy who dawdles.

Did you know you can 'whisper yell'?

It's true.
I've tested it out.

I had my doubts that a
whispered yell could be effective.
But it actually induced tears.
I was overjoyed shocked.

Oh...
And my 13-yr-old daughter
is very perturbed distraught 
by the fact that her mother 
can't talk to her.

It's terribly inconvenient for
her to have to wait
for notes to be written.

It's unfair to expect her
to get off the couch
in the TV room 
and walk a few feet.

 To the front room.

To get an answer
to the question 
she yelled at me.

Not to mention the fact
that when I write a note to 
someone other than herself,
'Miss Nosey' doesn't know
what I said to them.

She says it's like we're keeping secrets.

From her.

Like the secret of asking my son
if he had baseball practice today.

We are so cruel 
keeping that secret from her.

Aren't we?



So...

I'm not making
a very fast recovery
in the vocal department 
it seems.

I'm gonna have to get more serious
 about this silence thing 
if I ever want to 

Talk.
Sing.
Answer the phone.
Order through the Taco Bell drive thru
Ask my family what healthy meal 
they'd like me to make.

Ever.

Again.

Therefore I've decided to
post a sign on the back of my laptop
for my family.

(Don't scroll down yet... wait for the reveal!)

So they will know that I am
no longer talking and will only
communicate with them through
the written word.
(Just like I'm doing with you all!)



And it looks like this:

(okay... you can scroll down now)

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4 comments:

Matt and Melissa said...

Poor Laura! I'm sorry your feel so crummy and especially that you can't talk! That totally stinks! I can't believe Addy is 13. Wow! And Josh is 10 now. Did they just have their birthdays? I totally missed it. Well we're looking forward to seeing you all on Saturday. Hope you get better soon!

Gifts By Katherine said...

Hope you feel better soon. I had laryngitis once...UGH hated not speaking.Happy I found your blog at VB. Hugs!

Evelyn @ Hanging by a Silver Lining said...

The older I get the more often I lost my voice too. (Why is that???) Sign language?? If this keeps going it might come in handy. (Handy?! Get it? Hahahaha! ;))

Not Your Ordinary Agent said...

AHH! I hope you feel better. Use this time to help your kids learn respect. :) Teenagers can always use a refresher course! Love the sign. http://homesandbabies.blogspot.com

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